Do Not Commit to Activities Beyond Your Reasonable Ability to Deliver
In the 1996 movie Jingle All the Way – a father vows to get his son a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas. However, every store is sold out of Turbo Man; and he must travel all over town and compete with everybody in order to find one. A series of comedy situations ensue.
The movie is funny in a black comedy style. However, just witnessing the massive stress of the father’s situation is – stressful.
The Reality of Overcommitting
The reality of overcommitting is extreme stress. And for those in recovery, relapse is often the result of accepting too many commitments. Recovering alcoholics and addicts almost always have difficulty in setting healthy boundaries.
Whether in recovery or totally sober – creating and implementing healthy boundaries and saying ‘no’ when appropriate is very important. However, saying ‘no’ to overcommitment is challenging for many individuals.
Definition of Overcommit by Merriam-Webster Definition of overcommit. transitive verb. :to commit excessively: such as. a :to obligate (someone, such as oneself) beyond the ability for fulfillment. b :to allocate (resources) in excess of the capacity for replenishment.
How to Try and Please Everyone and Be Totally Miserable
The weakest link for most of us in setting boundaries is that we never learned that setting a boundary is equivalent to letting go of the outcome in a given situation.
One major reason for not setting appropriate boundaries resulting in overcommitment is being a people-pleaser.
People-pleasers are proficient at pleasing everyone . . . except themselves. They are master accommodators, intuiting what is wanted of them, and – in both word and deed – bestowing on others the attentiveness and care they deny themselves.
People-pleasers defer to the expectations of others so much that at some point – they lose sight of their own needs and wants.
Six Ways to Determine Overcommitment and How to Fix It
Below are six ways to determine whether you have stretched yourself too thin — and what to do about it.
Although this advice is aimed at business entrepreneurs, this is great advice for everyone in the battle to avoid overcommitment. These tips address business situations – but all of the advice below can be applied to individuals and personal interactions.
1. Your to-do list has exploded. You find yourself overbooked for meetings, and your daily agenda keeps expanding because you hardly ever finish anything. Instead, come up with a “not to do” list, suggests Daniel Murphy, CEO and co-founder of the Growth Coach Franchise System.
2. You’re distracted. You keep having to ask people to repeat themselves because you can barely focus. If you have too much on your mind, you won’t be able to give your full attention to any one task. Your brain is telling you to take a breather.
3. You can’t remember the last time you said “no.” You don’t want to turn away new business, but sometimes a project is beyond your capabilities or resources. One overbearing and unpredictable new customer could easily steal time and energy away from your existing clientele.
4. You undervalue yourself. What is my time worth? At some point, you need to give yourself a promotion and get away from doing menial tasks. Assign yourself an hourly rate and never go below it, Murphy recommends. For instance, think of the activities you do as being worth $150 an hour, but those of your bookkeeper as $20 per hour. Then every time you find yourself doing a job that skews toward the administrative side of the business rather than its strategy and long-term goals, ask yourself, ‘Is this activity worth $150 per hour to my company’?
5. Your level of service has declined. Is your business seeing a rise in complaints about your latest product? Are you having to apologize for late shipments because some of your employees are missing key deadlines? “When we sense our quality of service to clients is slipping, we have to ask why,” warns Jones Loflin, co-author of the time-management book Juggling Elephants: An Easier Way to Get Most of Your Important Things Done—Now. If the answer is that your employees are feeling overworked, you’ll need to evaluate whether you should hire a new staff member or find ways your current workforce can do their jobs more efficiently.
6. You have no time to think about your time. It’s hard to be efficient when you have no idea where all the hours in your day go. Loflin suggests that business owners take a few minutes at the beginning and end of each day to evaluate their workload. As well as to think further out, with weekly and monthly reviews. These moments should give you an opportunity to consider how efficiently you’re working and to question whether you should, say, hire a new staffer or delegate more effectively. Hopefully, these evaluations will help you avoid overcommitting yourself the next time.
Sobriety is Possible
No one will claim that getting sober is easy.
However, positive change can be achieved. With a strong resolve, intent and support – sobriety is possible!
Check back tomorrow in here our blog for Tip 4, which will be featured in our post 10 Days of Holiday Sobriety Tips – Day 5.
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